Your Offer Didn’t Get Accepted – How To Shake It Off!

I remember in highschool when one of the girls came back from vacation and walked into class late, all drama and “eyes on me” attitude. Her blond hair was blonder than ever, her skin tanned and sun-kissed, and she had that walk. You know the one I mean. All the guys were drooling, tongues hanging out. They all wanted HER! And she knew it.

You walk into the house. Granite countertops and stainless appliances, all new luxury vinyl plank flooring, the most gorgeous farmhouse lighting fixtures everywhere, cedar beams on the front porch, a huge family room with a gas fireplace. Seriously, every detail is perfect! There is not one project you would have to do. You want this HOUSE! And so does everyone else.

1. So, I tell these stories to, first of all, give you a dose of reality. The gorgeous girl gets the gorgeous guy. The amazing house gets the strongest buyer. When there is a lot of competition, chances are you are not going to be the top pick. It doesn’t mean you don’t try, but you have to be realistic about your strengths and weaknesses. 

2. Go back and review your offer. Ask your realtor to find out any information about the winning offer he/she can. It’s always good to know how you got beat. Think about any sport. The team goes back and reviews the games to analyze their weaknesses and work on them for the next game. That’s how they get better and stronger. Is there anything in your offer you can change for next time to make it stronger?

3. Believe you will find “the” house. It may hurt now and you will feel discouraged, but don’t give up. The right house always has a way of finding you. I’ve had buyers lose out over and over. They cried over every house! Each house was their dream home. When they did finally go under contract, they always said they were glad they didn’t get any of the other houses before because this one was the best!

4. Write it and forget it. The sooner you can move on from losing out on a house, the sooner you will find a house. Write your offer and then forget about it. Get right back in the search. You’ve heard it’s best to get right back in the saddle when you fall off. Well, it’s the same thing for house hunting. Don’t lose valuable time pouting. Go look at more homes right away, even if you don’t feel like it.

5. Realize you’re not special. When a seller looks at offers, it all comes down to numbers and terms. You are a black and white document. The seller knows nothing about you, how hard you work, how much your family deserves this home, etc. There is nothing personal. It is a business transaction. Don’t take losing personally. Don’t be a sore loser. Don’t get mad at the seller.

6. Reconsider your expectations and strategy. In this market, the list price is often the starting price, especially for those “perfect 10” homes. You may be a “6” on the buyer scale. So, what if you adjusted your home search for ones you actually have a chance at? Your realtor should be honest with you about your strength as a buyer and guide you in the right strategy.

7. Eat ice cream. Or tacos. Or whatever makes you happy. Take a moment to celebrate your loss because you learned something valuable – something that will help you win next time! Most of my buyers have to lose out at least once before they actually write their best offer. They hold back until they learn their lesson. It’s okay. Learn it and move forward.

I hope you found a little humor in these points! I know it stings to lose out on a home, but I promise you that you will find one. Trust the process. Don’t get discouraged. And work with an experienced realtor!

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